A Place Called Home.

Has anyone seen this place?        

My naïve self tells me every evening before going to bed that spring is waiting for us just around the corner. Sadly enough every morning I get disappointed by the fact that the sun just came to peek for a brief minute before it hid its face again, disappointed that the weather is still icy and grey and that my New Years resolutions to eat less and more healthy are still waiting to happen (save the whale).

It must be the the winter blues that finally got me...

My mind was wandering lately that I often feel like this around here, winter or summer. It's not my friends or the town I live in or the things I do. It's the grumpy people I cross on the street, the car that doesn't let a biker pass before him, the shy look of that person you cross on the street, the depressing weather I refuse to live in, the lack of wilderness and adventure that wears me out. 

It must been said that before I started thinking about things like this life was much more simple it didn't matter if I would live in a fancy beach apartment in Barcelona or a trailer park in Blankenberge. Home was where the heart was and that's it. 

But ever since I started to grow up and explore the different corners of the world and it's diverse inhabitants I realized I didn't know where my heart was. I realized my home was anywhere but here. Somewhere where time is irrelevant and the people always smile and greet you "Good Day" no matter the weather. A place where no prejudgements exist, where the ideals of beauty are  inexistent and terms like hipster, nerd and bcbg are unheard of. Performance and ambition would only be a means to reach your own happiness and not one to impress or frustrate others. Brands and high technology would be so overrated and jealousy a national crime.

There I would do everything without thinking why or how or when or at what time, without thinking what they'll think of me (because yes, I do think that more often than I'd like to admit, and I know you do to), without being insecure, without questioning my own greatness. Life would be simple and easy and full of guaranteed joy.  

I think I'll soon start looking for that place.

Got to go, Got to find my own. 

Gonna walk to the border of the fourth corner.

Questions.

"How can one be sure about something, if one's afraid to ask the second one. The second one wasn't sure either cause he was afraid to ask the first one."

This is twisted.
Why do some things have to end just because the course of your life intended it to be like that. And by the way, who took the right in his hands to lay out my life path without asking my opinion about it... It's not god cause I don't believe in that hobo. Or is the way your life floats just some course of faith we all have to undergo and in the meantime truly believe in it. Cause some things are easy to revolte against. Like not studying for an exam. But if it comes to serious matter... I'm a coward, like many other me's. And always, I regret the moments I didn't dare to ask the questions that can influence your own journey of life, questions people are so fearfull off.
And why? Cause let's face it, what would happen if you just spit them out. Right onto the stage of life, performing for us all: "the delicate questions of life"
I guess our biggest fear is realising that mostly we're uncapable of giving a good answer on them. Or we're scared of hearing the truth out loud (cause in your head, you already knew you wouldn't like the answer). The fear to get hurt by answers, is our biggest fear. So we crawl back into a safe cocoon of unknowing naivity and prospone the moment of posing questions, till there's no time for posing them anymore.